i’ve already been through this lots of times. but, why is “NOW” different? very different from the other times. i mean, it’s not like all of them are supposed to be the same. and no no no, i am comparing them. but i can’t help wondering about it, is this it? am i now where i’m supposed to be? where i should be? well, i don’t rightly know.

some say this might be it, but i don’t want to expect no more. all the hurt comes from expecting, that’s one of the most important lesson i learned from my past. less expecting, less hurting. so you ask, “what exactly was my so called “past”"? again, i don’t rightly know.

i think, think, and i think. is this worth it? i would fall, but i won’t expect no more. if i fall, i won’t expect to be catched. so then, it’ll be less painful. and then you ask, “why would you fall?” “who’ll catch you?”. and again, i say, i don’t rightly know.

and now you may ask, “how come that’s always your answer?”

my reply, ” i don’t rightly know.”

this blog post might only be understood by me. as you see, i don’t really give specific details. but if you do understand it, well then, you know me very well.