complicated.

the daydreaming reality..

2009-10-28T20:18:00.002+08:00

hello hello :D

i now have my tumblr account:

lyzindistress.tumblr.com

i'll appreciate it if you follow me.

please and thank you.

i'm building up my dream

2009-10-21T11:29:00.003+08:00

TO BECOME A PARTICIPANT FOR THE PRESS CON=DREAM COME TRUE

these past few weeks, the Golden Grain Staff have been very busy preparing for the up coming press con. we've have been lay-outing our paper, and screening to be contestants of the said event.

and yea, its been my DREAM to be part of the press con, my dream since last year when i joined the Golden Grain. well, last year, i was "bigo" to join the contest, so this year i am and is doing my best to become a part of it. as iiin, i'm pouring my guts out na! ket this once lang po Lord, puhleease!

i am currently the COPYREADER of the paper, so yea, i edit and edit, and i'm also the typist of the group. jeez. haha. but no, hindi ako nagrereklamo ha, actually I LOVE BEING PART OF THE PUBLICATION. for real. :D

so, i'm building up my dream..

Pray for me..

:D

sweetest 16

2009-10-17T12:03:00.004+08:00

oww. yea,ii just turned 16 last October 2, 2009. and yea, it was the best-est birthday ever.

the day started out fine, i didn't sleep till about 1am just to see how will greet me first. so, there, i waited, the first ones who greeted me through was Keith(my classmate), Kim(best friend), Kuya Wewe(kuya2), and Kuya Glen(bossing:]). Then, the fist one who greeted me through call was Spiderpig. weee. Inawitan nya ako, it was so adorably cute! haha. laki ng smile ko nun, abot tenga. :D after nun, natulog na ako. take note, i slept with a smile on my face. *ano kaya itsura ko non? lmao*

when i woke up that morning, it was about 7:30am, my mama greeted me with a kiss and a hug, and so did papa. :D so sweeet!

i did nothing but surf the net that morning. PLURK, FACEBOOK, and a little bit of FRIENDSTER. a lot of my ading2 greeted me through plurk, nakakatouch. as iin! wee. thank you sa kanila! :D

pagka-hapon, ayon, wala parin akong ginawa kundi magnet. haha. pero natulog ako ng saglit, mga 1hr. ayon. pagka3pm, tumatambay ako sa labas ng cafe namin, tambay2 lang, lumingon ako sa kaliwa, then ayoon, nakita ko yung barkada ko, papunta sa direksyon ko, agad agad akong pumasok sa bahay. nahiya daw ako e, haha. hinintay ko nalang na tawagin nila ako. haha. pa-hard-to-get? rofl. haha.

ito ang nangyari pagdating nila:

barkada: *sings* happy birthday to you, happy birthday to yoou ...

ako: *blush* *nataouch* mga buing, di man lang kayo nagtext. hahahha

barkada: surprise nga. haha! anaw!

ako: aw. salamat! :D

barkada: may gift kami sayo lyz. *tingin sa kaliwa* hala, may gift talaga kami for you lyz. *tawa tawa*

ako: *lingon din sa kaliwa* *smile* *tawa* *smile* *SMILE*

barkada: uyyyyy *tawa*

ako: hala. waaaa *blush*

mala-knight in shining armor si spiderpig
bumaba siya ng motor niya.

siya: happy bitrhday. makahiya ui, anjan pala sila. ayos muna ako ng pc na sira. *smile*

*sabay bigay ng kasama nya sa akin ng braso de mercedes, roses, tsaka shirt* *tapos pumasok na sila sa loob ng cafe*

ako: ui. salamat. *smile* :D

barkada: wow lyz. :D

ako: *smile* *SMILE*

--fin--

super nice talaga. first time ko makatanggap ng mga ganyan sa birthday ko. nakoo.
and ansarap ng braso ha. as in! tinulungan ako ng barkada ko na ubusin yun. haha! ambait nila! :D

after namin kumain, naglaag kami sa usm, sa field. gumawa ng kalokohan, nagtry2 ng high jump, nagtakbo2. parang mga baliw. haha. and the fun thing was puwede akong mang-asar tapos walang babalos sa akin. birthday ko e, wala silang magagawa. haha. ansaaaya!

it was the best-est birthday ever. as iiiin! :D

salamat. salamat. salamat God!

pressure much

2009-10-10T17:09:00.000+08:00

grrrrrr. exams week. grrrrr

retreat :D

2009-10-07T20:16:00.002+08:00

ii just came home from our retreat.
and i'll post everything that happened there soon. :D
i'm so tired na kasi.
maybe this saturday, together with the pictures na. wee

it was so unforgettable!

:p

my life as a senior.

2009-10-04T09:54:00.002+08:00

calculus, trigonometry, genetics, organic chemistry, physics, english, filipino, social studies, computer science, C.A.T.

yeah yeah, those lots are my subjects this year. calculus? i can swear i heard myself scream from the inside. uhuh. it sucks but i try not to think about it much. my favorite subject, english says boring now, it's all about literature; spain, england and whatsoever. we hadn't undergone any lesson about grammar and language proficiency! grrrr.

okay okay, enough about subjects and school stuff, and now more about the barkada and the lot. where do i start? hmm. we call ourselves as "freaktions". oh, we're not actually freaks so don't worry. we're just plain teenagers who wants to have fun, lots of fun. we went through a lot these days, cause yea, we're graduating and we'll be going on our own separate ways and we'll be leaving each other. grrr. i love them so much!

you know what? my life as a senior has been totally great! yea, opportunities of many kinds have been dropping like raindrops. here and there. wee. so lovin' it! first of all, our thesis, gets to go to the divisions, then it won, and now it gets to go to the regionals! woo. sana tuloy-tuloy na. Thank you God for everything! God's so good! :D

i'm here, and i'm totally back!

2009-10-03T18:57:00.002+08:00

ii shall return! and i'm here, back, here, again! :D
woo. ii missed blogging so much!
this time, ii will not leave my blog anymore, i promise! :)

a lot has happened, to me, to my family, to my friends, to everything!
uhuh. ii just turned 16 yearterday, SWEET 16 huh? yeeeaaa!
and tmy 16th birthday is the best one yet!
thanks to my barkada, my friends, my family, my spiderpig
and most of all our Almighty God! :D

thank you thank you for all those who
greeted me! as iiin! super ansaaayaaa ko!

i'll be posting more about the happenings in my life
theses past few months. :D

it's good to be back! =]

2009-08-15T14:59:00.003+08:00

uhuh. you read it right. yep, i'm back.
wee. it's been what, like 3moths i think.
i missed blogging so much! i missed my linkies! woo.

watch out for my upcoming posts! =]
my page will also be having a new look.

see ya. xoxo

hiatus. =[

2009-07-21T15:56:00.002+08:00

i've been offline these passed few weeks/months. so sorry for the inconvenience.
here are the reason why i've been on hiatus:
1. no internet connection. (it sucks.)
2. study study study. (school kasi. woo)

i guess that's it. again, i'm so sorry.
but i'll be back soon. very soon. watch out. =]

p.s. ii miss my dear linkies. waaa

talk about drama!

2009-06-07T15:11:00.003+08:00

Wednesday june 03, 2009.. The first day of school. =]

oh yea, i'm officially a senior. SENIOR; soon to be a graduate; soon to be a college freshman. ow? would you believe that time flies this fast? flashback: a petite kindergarten pupil then, and now an upcoming graduate in high school. life. ow life.

the melancholy of the past years, the memoirs of my past loves, the reminisce of the past challenges that i overcome. ALL of them gone, gone, and gone. But yea, i still visit them once in awhile, they come to me when i'm all alone, when i'm at my most emotional state, and then, they drive me insane and just makes me cry. dammit. i hate it when that happens. btw, it happens a lot these days! talk about wrong timing huh? school's beginning and i'm already out of focus because of these thoughts that keeps on haunting me day and night. hate it, hate it, hate it!

i'm not actually loving my life at this moment. there are times that my mood changes, am i going back to the old me? ow, hope not. i don't wanna go back to being the moody/suplada/maldita girl that you see everyday, and still always wearing the same old frown. can you imagine me that way?! urrrggh, pure torture. PURE!

anyway, a lot of things had happen these past few days, him, her, him, whatever. don't quite get my point? well, i dunnow how to explain it either. my sincere apologies. my mind is just really mixed up right now; at this exact moment. (i feel like i'm gonna cry. boohoo lyz. you're such a loser.)

okay okay, i think i'm going to far; going to overrated and acting a bit too melodramatic. (you think lyz, you think?!)

this is what happened, but take note, i am not giving the exact details. here:
-my boy barkada/ boy bestfriend is acting so weird. so so weird. strange, and its making me go crazy. he says things like he doesn't want anything to change between the two of us and etc. OMG! what am i suppose to do?! tell me, whaaaat?!
-officially, officially, officially i'm sad. officially. (quite obvious?)
-i always feel like crying. (i mentioned that already right?)

basta. yan na yun. sorry guys. i don't feel well. sorry. see you on my next post, and eventually i'll feel better then. i so wish. see you.

untitled

2009-05-31T16:42:00.001+08:00

if you only knew.. =(

hello hello =]

2009-05-20T19:28:00.000+08:00

Hello hello. I've been on hiatus for almost a week now, sorry. It's because i've been quite busy these past few days. I got really addicted to playing restaurant city, mafia wars and yoville. My sincere apologies guys.

Anyway, those games are from Facebook. Add me, intsiklyz@yahoo.com. They're so cool! Trust me, you won't regret playing those games. :]

A lot of thing happened this week. A lot.

Firstly, i'm already enrolled to CAT. Whew! I got enrolled yesterday, and God! I was the only incoming 4thyear that was going to be interviewed there! Gosh. Dunnow if i'm supposed to be relieved or more panicked. I mean, most of the officers were my classmates, and one of them is my barkada, am I relieved? Not quite. Well, there was this law “walang bait-bait, walang pabor-pabor, walang kaibigan kaibigan.” Maygaad. Ganun ba yun? Oh well, okay lang. Hindi naman nila ako pinahirapan ng husto e, coz alam ko naman din ang mga dapat gawin, like yung mga facings, tas yung mga dapat sabihin sa mga officers (ex. “Permission to talk, ma'am/sir!” take note, magsalute dapat, tsaka dapat pasigaw, jan nga ako pinagalitan last year e, mahina kasi boses ko, so ayun, pinagalitan ako, wala daw lamya sa CAT. Duh? Whatever! Pero kahapon, naintindihan nila kung bakit mahina boses ko, dahil daw sa braces ko. Thank God!) Back to the topic, so ayun, ininterbyu ako, una yung barkada ko pa ang naginterbyu sa akin, pero nabored siya sa akin e, sinasagot-sagot ko kasi siya, pero may respeto parin ako sa kanya ah, everytime na kausapin ko siya, lageng may “ma'am”. LOL. Nung nabore na siya sa akin, pinpunta niya ako sa isa ko pang classmate na officer dun, tapos interbyu interbyu interbyu, utos utos utos, sagot sagot sagot, SQUAT, sagot sagot sagot, SQUAT, sagot sagot sagot, SQUAT, tawa tawa tawa, SQUAT, suplada effect, utos utos utos, sagot sagot sagot, tawa tawa tawa, TAPOS. Sorry ha, What you see, what you here, leave it here kasi so di ko puwede sabihin ang mga nangyari dun. Naku naku. Basta, pinasuot nila ako ng cap, tas sunglasses, then pinarampa-rampa (model raw kasi ako e. naks naman. Mao ba? LOL). End of interview! Yey! Saved!

Secondly.. Nakita ko siya, nilapitan niya ako, kinausap niya ako! Sobrang gulat na gulat ako! Ano yun? Ginawa nya ba yun kasi namiss nya ako? O kasi gusto nya lang magmayabang sa harap ng barkada nya? Naku! Sipain talaga kita! Kainis kaaa! As iiin! Pag talikod ko sayo, may luha na sa mga mata ko. Kainiiiiis talaga! Wag kana nga magpaita sa akin beh! Ever! Sasampalin kita e. Lagooot!

Thirdly.. i'm soo confused! Again. (sigh) i'm going to try and make a poem or a song, just to express my feelings. Weee. I hate this feeling though. (sigh)

save you..

2009-05-14T07:13:00.005+08:00

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

(Ahahaha)
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Ohohh)
I wish I could save you (oh)

Save you by Simple Plan

-CAT-

but giving up is already next in line.
i can't take this anymore.
i'm tired. so tired.

read, read, and read.

2009-05-13T07:58:00.003+08:00

“One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.” (tagged from quotebox ni vea)

Yea, all ii know is that he's out there. Somewhere.

Hello hello. My sincere apologies for being offline these past couple of days. Eventually, a lot of things happened since my damn headache:

Friday, May 8 2009

– another headache. But my cousins came here, so ii was fine, I had fun with them. My parents went to Davao, and they arrived here by night, and lucky me Mama bought me a new book; the book I was so dying for; One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Marquez. Thanks Ma! xoxo

Saturday, May 9 2009

– and yet, another headache, can you believe it, 3days straight of having headaches?! OMG. I hope this ain't a migraine. Wooo. Nothing exciting happened that day, just pure reading, reading and reading. Read, read, and read even if my head was hurting.

Sunday, May 10 2009

- Mother's Day! Woohooo. I went to church at 8 in the morning, and yet again, I was all alone, no one bothered to come with me. Poor me. (sigh) But after church, I went to the nearest flowershop to buy my Mama and Lola a bouquet of roses. Weee. Happy Mother's Day Ma, La. I LOVE YOU. (well, the last part, I never really got to say that though.) Oh btw, I woke up with an extremely sore throat that day, and I mean extremely. I merely even spoke a word that day. Oh, the house was so quiet. But, I got sick by late afternoon. (sniff)

Monday, May 11 2009

– Happy Birthday Kim! (sniff) I couldn't go to her place coz of this stupid lagnat. So loathesome. (sniff) I still had a sore throat, but I was feeling a lot better than the day before.

Today, May 12 2009

-Nothing happened today. Just a lot of reading. Btw, i'm half way through my book. Weee. I so love the story. Two thumbs up! And oh, I also played Restaurant City, level 20. weee. Yehey! :)) thanks to Spiderpig. :))

Oh, I have something to tell you, Love Story will be as it is for the moment. Due to some complications with my life these days, I ain't in the mood of telling stories. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Till here pre. :))

P.S thanks for all the comments. :))

what happened?

2009-05-07T18:00:00.004+08:00

my head hurts like hell. and so does my heart. damn it!
i wanna to scream my heart out! scream until my brain pops outta my head! i hate this. T_T

for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic..

2009-05-07T17:35:00.001+08:00

Just talk yourself up
And tear yourself down
You've hit your one wall
Now find a way around
Well what's the problem?
You've got a lot of nerve

So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
You wouldn't

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

I'm not so naive
My sorry eyes can see
The way you fight shy
Of almost everything
Well, if you give up
You'll get what you deserve

So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
You wouldn't

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

You were finished long before
We had even seen the start
Why don't you stand up, be a man about it
Fight with your bare hands about it now

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay, well did you
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
And I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away

by Paramore

-CAT-

love story journal 1 :)

2009-05-04T20:05:00.003+08:00

Nostalgic much?
Dear Diary,

Reminiscing. That's what this day is all about. Yep, him, again. Dunnow why though, dunnow how. But, someway, somehow, he just keeps on popping into my mind.

Confused? Me? Yea, you bet. Is this even normal? I mean, I keep on thinking about him; without me even wanting to. It's over between the two of us. OVER. I mean, I am over him, throughly over him. To make that much clear, I already love someone else. So why is it like this? It's like, like that. Boom! He's in my mind, again. Then boom, he's gone. Then boom, he's back. Aaaarrrrgggghhh. It makes me dizzy, it makes me crazy! Damn it! Will you get outta my mind?! Please?!

Don't quite get my point yet? Well, okay okay, I'll tell you what exactly happened today.

Like many or almost all the other Pilipinos out there, I also watched Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao's fight with Ricky “Hitman” Hatton. And yes, I cheered for him, who wouldn't anyway? He's undoubtly a Pinoy pride that everyone must be proud of! Ayt? Well, back to the point, I remembered damn boy because of Pacman's fight. Why? Coz every time Pacman has a fight, damn boy and I will have a bet, I will always bet for Pacman, and he'll always bet for Pacman's enemy. But the truth is, he wants to bet for Pacman, he just bets for his enemy for my sake. That has been a tradition for the both of us for the almost 2 years that we've been together (21months to be exact).

Then, after the fight which obviously, Pacman won, I watched One More Chance which has always been my all time favorite movie. Not because this movie makes me remember damn boy, oh no no, but because i've learned a lot from it; accepting break ups, heart breaks and the kind. But, what I always remember from this movie is the rule about break ups; the 3 months rule. In that specific rule, ex couples are not allowed to have a new bf/gf within the 3 months right after they're break up. Makes sense right? Well, even before our break up, damn boy told me that we if ever we break up, we should have that exact rule. And we did. Well, I did, actually. He didn't follow that rule. We didn't even break up yet, but then, he had another girl. Damn.

The other thing that made me think of him is the song, Forevermore. It was played in Singing Bee. I hate that show from now on! LOL. Just kidding. Well, let's stick to the topic. That song is my song, dedicated to damn boy. I never thought that i'd be right for him when we became a couple. I never thought he'd court a girl like me. I never thought he'd love me.

But, no, a big no, like I said before. I also never thought that he'd break my heart;that he'd fool me. I loved him to dearly for me to think that thought. He said promises; that he won't leave me, he won't lie to me, he won't hurt me. But all of those, yes, all of those were nothing but broken promises. Promises are made to be broken, right? I never believed in that saying before, but now, I do, it's more like a motto to me now. I learned a lot from him, our break up made me more matured; stronger; more dedicated to God. I guess, I became a better person because of that, because of him. And maybe, that's why God took him away from me, because I was making him my world; the center of all my attention, when from the very start, God is supposed be that person; the one whom we all must give our attention. And now, if ever i'll be in a new relationship; a new commitment, i'll put God first, i'll make God the center of our relationship. I'll love God much more this time...

xoxo,

the girl with the love story

NOTE : This is an attachment to the Love Story Series. And yes, this may or may not be also a true story. :)

love story part 2 :)

2009-05-01T08:26:00.002+08:00

moving on..

I'm running as fast as I can; running away from all the pain. Its torturing me again; our past, our memories. We were so happy then, nothing could ever stop us from loving each other. Others even thought of us as the perfect couple, they were merely idolizing us. What happened to us anyway? What happened to you?

Its all coming back to her again. Him, him, him. She kept thinking about him. All day, and all night. Yea, she said she's moving on, but its not that easy. She loved him so much. So so much. It takes time to heal a deep wound. It takes time to let go of all those memories. It takes time to jeopardize the love she has for him. She hates to admit it, but yes, she's still on the process of moving on, and not even half way of it.

He did come back for her, several times I should say. But still, she said “no” for she fears of having her heart broken again, she fears of being called as a “martyr” again, she fears of making herself look stupid again.

Others think that she already moved on. But no, she's still trapped from her past. It really isn't that easy. Really. She acts like nothings wrong and it doesn't hurt when she sees him with his new girl. She's a pretender, a very good one I guess. No one really knows what she truly feels except for her (and God). Coz she keeps all the hurt and the pain inside. A smile can hide everything anyway.

I shouldn't do this to myself. I shouldn't be all miserable because of him. He's gone, gone, gone. Totally gone.

After months of acting like a sad loner girl pretending to be a freaky bubbly girl, she finally let go of HIM. FINALLY. Yes, this time it's real. She isn't pretending to be the freaky bubbly girl anymore, coz this time, she ain't fakin her smiles no more. That's good for her.

Bye bye damn boy, buhbye!

And hello hallelujah, hello hello.

To be continued.....

NOTE : This may or may not be a true story. :)) Take note, i love to imagine things. :))

P.S : “damn boy” is ______'s screen name. (coz he's so damn.)

“hallelujah” is ______'s screen name. (coz he's God fearing. And I extremely love the song hallelujah by Paramore. :) )

random thoughts again. :)

2009-05-01T08:21:00.000+08:00

where: my room.

when: 10:22 in the evening, april 30, 2009.

why: just want to share something.

who: just me, myself and ii.

what: random thoughts nanaman aa ito. :)

hello hello. andito nanaman ako. haha! my apologies for being offline these past few days. ii created a facebook account kasi (intsiklyz@yahoo.com), then i got addicted to playing restaurant city. whew! kaya ayun, di na ako masyadung nagkakaroon ng time for blogging. pasensya na talaga ha.

anyway, eto ako oh, may braces na. OMG. congrats to me! haha. LOL. hindi man siya masyadong masakit, nagulat nga ako e, and relived. (whew!) pero nagulat talaga ako kasi sabi nila, it hurts like hell daw. pero hindi naman ah. i'm guessing this: hindi pa muna siguro pinasikip ni doc ang braces kasi baka gusto niyang masanay na muna ako, then pagblik ko doon nextmonth, tsaka na nya siguro papasikipin talaga. OMG. that's my theory ha. hihi. i'm not sure pa. toynk. pero pre, habang di pa masyadong masakit ang braces na 'to, todo kain na muna ako. kasi i'm sure, di na ako makakain ng maayos sa sunod. whooa! :)

aiip. nga pala, yang "love story part 1" na yan. may part 2 pa yan, tapos part 3, part 4, so on and so forh. did you like it? hope you did, coz part 2 will be coming up soon. very soon. and btw, it may or may not be a true story ha. i'll tell you when the right time comes. :)

naku pre. sira na yata ang iPod ko. kainis/badtriip/lagot. urrrrggggh! why, why, why?! lab na lab ku gud yun. huhu. bigay pa naman yun ni tito/ninong Al. sana maayos pa yun. please please. can't live without music. waa!

i'm loving PARAMORE so so much pre. as iiin! idol na idol ko na talaga si hayley williams. actually, i'm thinking of changing my hair color to red. haha! just kiddin'. :)

This time we're not giving up

Let's make it last forever

Screaming "hallelujah"

We'll make it last forever

i'm screaming "hallelujah"! :))

'till here pre. watch out for love story part 2. :)) xoxo

P.S : pampy/dangsh! (http://rainbowsareconfusing.blogspot.com/) welcome to the world of blogging! hihi. mua mua. xoxo. missyou dansh:)

love story part 1 :)

2009-04-28T07:46:00.003+08:00

What ever happened to our happily ever after?

She’s crying like it’s the end of the world. Boohoo, poor girl. The love of her life just waved her goodbye last night. And no, of course it wasn’t “good”bye. Damn boy, she shouldn’t have loved him so much. And now, it hurts like hell! See? She’s been crying for hours now, but still, her tears are not getting lesser. Uh-oh.

What the hell did ii do wrong? I mean, I did everything for you; I even swallowed my pride for you. I accepted you’re sins. I accepted YOU. But why? Why are you giving up on me? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Why?

Nostalgia? Yea, she’s been going through that every single second. Painful? Yeah right, of course it is. Everything, yes everything just makes her think about him; those sweet memories. She thought they were meant to be; that he was the one; that nothing or no one could ever break them. But unfortunately, she thought wrong. They were NOT meant to be, he was NOT the one, and SOMEONE could break them.

I hate her! B*tch of all b*tches! I thought she was my friend; my ate nevertheless. What a traitor! Go to hell!

Yep, it was SOMEONE. She hated that someone, so much. Slapping her and punching her would make her feel a million times better. But, she couldn’t do that. Realization is the key. She realized that the boy isn’t worth it.

After a month of crying rivers of tears, and suffering from depression, she finally decided to move on; continue living; and live her life to the fullest. Her friends helped her along the way. She also met new friends, whom also helped her recover. She learned so many lessons, and yes, she accepted it, wholeheartedly.

She then met someone else. He made her realize that, that damn boy isn’t the only guy in the whole universe. He made her smile, always. He made her laugh, he made her happy. :))

God must have sent him to me for a reason; to make me believe that there’s more to life than just that damn boy.

The damn boy came back after 2 months. He asked her if they could see each other; if they could talk again; clear things; start again. She hesitated at first. Confused. Will she accept the offer? She did, and then after several months, they talked again. He’s skinnier than ever. What happened to him? She thought. At first, they chatted about their current life, school, and etc. But then, the damn boy asked a question; the question she greatly feared. “Can you give me another chance?” the damn boy questioned. His eyes were starting to dwell in tears, he looked doubtfully hopeful, and he was wearing a buoyant smile.

Ha? What?! After what you’ve done to me! After all those things you made me go through! After hurting me like hell!! After making me accept that we’re gone! After making me move on with life! Just like that? You unexpectedly come back, and ask me that pathetic question! Who the hell are you?! *sigh* I already gave you all the chances you need, but YOU, yea YOU gave up on me! Screw you! I can go on with my life without you. LOSER.

But, she hates to admit it; she still loves him. But no, it’s nothing like before. She ain’t giving him another chance. Why would she anyway? She’s been through enough already. She’s moving on.

Tears are now running down my eyes. He wiped it. Then I looked at him. Oh God, I still love him. I have a choice to make; to give him another chance or to tell him to leave my life. I couldn’t really make up my mind when he’s right in front of me. So I’m deciding to tell him my decision next week.

She’d tell him her final decision a week later. But, after only two days, she made her decision already. SHE’S NOT GIVING HIM ANOTHER TRY. That’s that.

There they are, talking once again, or maybe it’s the last time they’ll ever talk to each other. This is it. Judgment day. She took a deep breath, then told him her last and final decision. “AYOKO NA”, she said. And to make this short, the boy cried, he insisted on letting himself have another chance. But she made her decision, and it’s final. Tears were already filling up her eyes; she doesn’t want to cry in front of him again.

I looked away, and wiped my tears. No, I am not crying because of him again. He’s just not worth it anymore.

The boy got angry at her. He threw the wallet and the handkerchief that she gave to him before. And left her there alone, looking puzzled and poignant. “How dare him?!”, she thought.

I made the right decision. I know.

And yes, she did. The damn boy became a smoker and an alcoholic. He changed a lot. And that was the last of it.

That happened last year. December something. And now, both of them have moved on. But no, they didn’t even become friends again. But that was okay. Past is past.

NOTE: This may or may not be a true story. *wink* :))

emBRACE me!

2009-04-21T19:40:00.002+08:00

emBRACE me! yea, you read it right, emBRACE me. get it? LOL. if you did get it, congrats! if you didn't, well it means; i'll be having my braces this week. and yes, i'm scared. yes, i'm excited. yes, i'll look all funny. yes, i'll be getting skinny. yes, i'm nervous.

people will be calling me as "the girl with braces". LOL. cute. haha! i wonder, what'll ii look like? waa. *kaba kaba kaba* *heart beating faster* yikes. some say that getting braces hurts to hell. OMG! but, i'll take that, whatever the circumstances may be, its really final. i'll be having braces. and that's that. help me Lord. waa.

WISH ME LUCK! lots of luck. :))

******************************

i was supposed to upload pictures of our soon-to-be tambayan in the making. but, unfortunetely the laptop seems to not detect the card reader. *sniffles* sayang pre, dami pa namang pics doon, including the macro pics kulot, richard and i took. (btw, its my first time to try macro. and its sooo fun. i'm addicted to photography na. nasa wishlist ko na ang cam. haha!) oh well, i'll post it nexttime. :))

anyway, i had so much fun at our soon-to-be so called tambayan. ket na konti lang kami doon. Benj, Pat, Chard, Kulot, Jean and ii. marami naman din kaming nagawa doon ket papano. may bakod2 na, nakalbo na konti, and etc etc. totally fun! weeee. can't wait till the tambayan's finished. :))

****************************

sobrang saya ko talaga! yang brace-brace na yan? asus. wala yan. masaya parin ako. haha! nagkita kami ni spiderpig. finally! and yes, i did give him a POWER hug. LOL. matagal nanaman kaming magkikita ulit. waaaa. and btw, the song below, he played that kanina. *super kilig* sabi nya kasi, "before ka mag-uwi oh. pakinggan mo muna". ayun. waa. do you want to hear it? anjan sa playlist ko oh. hanapin mo lang. :))

*smiles*

i love you..

2009-04-21T19:30:00.001+08:00

I love you
-gagong rapper

Chorus:
Everytym I'm thinking of u... u make me go crazy I love you.
I luv U
Coz everytym I'm dreaming of u...
I wish you were my baby ilove u... ilove u

Verse 1
Simula nang makilala ka ako'y humanga namagha
Sa bulong ng puso ko, ikaw na nga
Gumawa ako ng mga paraan,
Para lang mapalapit sayo't loob mo sa akin gumaan
Lalong nakakamiss mga ngiti mong matamis
Na panghimagas ko sa tuwing ako'y pagod sa pag alis
Pag ikay umaalis akoy nalulumbay
Ako ang weakest link pag ikay nag gogoodbye(goodbye)
Ang buhay ko, pag kasama ka laging kumpleto
Makita ka lang masaya ako na ay kuntento
So pagmasdan mo ang laman ng puso at isipan
Para naman malaman mo sa akin ikaw lamang
Di ko na kailangan maghanap pa ng iba
Sau lang ako tinamaan talaga
Wag mo sanang isiping wala kang halaga
Close verse verse physical ikaw talaga'y mahalaga

Verse 2
Pag ibig na kay tamis, parang beauty and the beast
Bagay na bagay like kamatis at patis, walis at daspan
Parang wife and husband tayo'y nagmamahalan mag pakailanman (peksman)
Mamatay man ako ngayon ikay papakasalan at sa lahat ng simbahan at (si congresman ang bestman)
Pag ikay na sisilayan, nawawala ang galit ko
So lagi kong tinitingnan larawan mo sa walet ko
Ikaw ang nasa isip bago pa matulog
At pagkagising ikaw parin hanggang mag mumog
Pag may pagkakamali ka, ako'y patay malisya
Di kita malilimutan kahit na mag ka amnesya
At kahit anong tagal akoy mag hihintay
Ganyan kita ka mahal walang ka pantay
Pag ako ay namatay mas gusto ko pang maging multo
Kaysa pumasok sa langit na wala sa piling mo

Verse 3
Nagmula sa aking isip, kamay ko ang sumulat
Pinuga ng aking bibig wag ka naman sanang magugulat
Sa pagtatapat, at dapat ka maniwala
Sa mga kataga, salitang aking ilalathala
Sa iyong damdamin (yohhhhhh)aking inaamin
Na akoy nananalangin ma punta ka lang sa akin
Di ka malulungkot, iiyak at magdurusa
Pagkat mamahalin kita hanggang tumahol ang mga pusa
Dinami-dami ng babae sa mundo
Sayo ko lang inalay ang buong buhay ko
Ang puso ko pangalan mo lamang ang ibinubulong
Pangako ko tayoy magsasama sa iisang bubong
Ang aking magulong buhay, iyong pinalitan
Tayoy nagmamahalan na hindi napipilitan
Cross my heart never kang papalitan
Co'z you get me goin you are may lipovitan you got me twisted

You know, you are my Love
You got me twisted over you
I know I got what you need right here
So what you wanna do?

Everytym I'm thinking of you...
You make me go crazy I love you.
I love you
Coz everytym I'm dreaming of you...
I wish you were my baby I love you... I Love You

-CAT-

cold summer

2009-04-21T07:26:00.001+08:00

Where: kwarto ko, harap ng laptop. (masanay ka na, lage nalang ganyn e. LOL)

When: April 20, 2009 @ exactly 10:05pm

Who: ako lang ulit. Haha. (masanay ka narin ulit.)

Why: everyday routine ko na eto e.

What:

Here I am again, and OMG, it’s so damn cold! Summer but it feels more like winter here. Hate it. Totally. Whoever likes changing weather anyway? You wake up in the morning and it’s completely freezing, and by lunch time it’s scorching hot, and again by late afternoon it’s utterly chilly. Who likes that? Who?!

Anyhow, I bought pirated DVD awhile ago. (sorry Sir Edu, I couldn’t control myself, I really want to watch Slumdog Millionaire e.) The pirated DVD has 17movies; Race to Witch Mountain (I already watched it though.), Watchmen, The Two Lovers, Love Me Again, When I Met You, You Changed My Life, Poohkwang, Shaolin Girl, Slumdog Millionaire, Confessions of a Shopaholic (watched it already.),

I watched You Changed My Life this afternoon. Waw. It was nice. Miggy’s so so sweet and thoughtful. The fireworks? The balloons? Everything! So so romantic. Not to mention that he’s so damn cute! Totally! Haha. Anyway, Laida’s always full of energy and humor, she’s so charming. Natatawa ako lage kina Joross, mga baliw. Toynk. I totally laughed out loud with the rain dance thing. Haha!

I didn’t watch Slumdog Millionaire yet, coz spiderpig said na sabay daw namin yun papanuorin. Hihi. Weee. :))

Oh, and btw, binigyan na ako ni Lola ng sweldo kanina. Yey! *cheers* may panglaag nanaman ako. Haha! Just kiddin’ pre, i’m saving my money. :))

P.S I need help with code thingamajigs. Panu maglagay ng comment dito?! “show” man ang nakalagy doon sa comment settings. E bat ganito? Waa. Sensya na pre, first time kasi, ignorante pa ako. Haha. Oh well, to those who can eventually help me, just tag me okay? Thanks. :)) xoxo

NOTE : again, thi was supposed to be posted last night.

a survey that's so personal. sabi nila. :)

2009-04-20T20:23:00.003+08:00

This survey gets a little personal can you handle it?

-- ii hope so.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

-- absolutely.

Are you single/ taken / heart broken/ confused?

-- confused but i'm happy. :)

Do you get along with girls?

-- of course.

Do you think somebody loves you?

-- sana. *sigh*

Is it easy to make you cry?

-- uh, yea. *sigh*

How do you feel when someone kisses you on the forehead?

-- kung mahal ko yun, kilig e. haha.

Do you find it hard to trust others?

-- nop. tanga ako e. madali lang makuha ang trust ko.

Do you like using big words?

-- yep, ewan bakit. haha

Do you care too much/ not at all/ just enough?

-- toooooooo much!

Have you ever had depression?

-- yea, a lot of times already.

Do you love someone?

-- yea, i do. :)

What if I told you that you were pretty?

-- thanks.

Do you get jealous easily?

-- ow, i hate to admit it, but yea.

What about mad?

-- not so.

What about upset?

-- i suppose, there are times.

How fast does your mood change?

-- dati? in just a wink. but now? i'm not that moody anymore. :)

How often do you cry?

-- it depends.. if i estimate it, about every two days. haha

Ever found out the person you cared most about doesn't care about

you the same way or anymore?

-- *sigh* opo. hmp

How does it feel to be heart broken?

-- like dying!

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings?

-- it depends.

Can you honestly say you' re okay right now?

-- definitely.

Do you tell people you' re okay when you' re really not?

-- sometimes, yea.

Why do you think so many people cheat on their bf/ gf?

-- ii guess they're just not satisfied.

Why does anyone lie?

-- dunnow. there are too many reasons.

Are you afraid of getting cheated on?

-- yes. natrauma na ako. hmm

Tell me what' s on your mind?

-- this survey. duh.

If you could make your lips bigger, would you?

-- nop. i like it just the way it is.

Do you know anyone that drinks?

-- yup, lots of them.

What does your hair look like?

-- kinda short. black. haha

How many people do you trust?

-- many, i guess.

Are you happy with your life?

-- at this moment? yea. absolutely.

Do you have a friend that you've known since you were little?

-- yup. lots.

What do you usually do first in the morning?

-- take a look at my cellphone.

Is being single fun?

-- yep. but kinda lonely.

What color are your eyes?

-- black.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?

-- nop. not unless someone calls me though.

Can you honestly say looks don't matter?

-- honestly? it does matter. but attitude's the most important.

Was today a good day?

-- i suppose so.

What were you doing last night at midnight?

-- dreaming.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

-- yep. especially if both of you are serious.

If you were to die today would your life be complete?

-- of course NOT!

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

-- haha. marami.

Where will you be in 2 hours?

-- dreamland. haha

What are you doing tomorrow?

-- got to my summerjob. tamaby sa bahay. ewan. haha

Which girl' s house was the last you spent the night at?

-- my cousin's.

Do you have a ceiling fan in your room?

-- nop.

Next time you will kiss someone?

-- i have no idea.

Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?

-- yeah. :)

antukin..

2009-04-20T19:25:00.002+08:00

Iniwan ka na ng eroplano
Ok lang baby
Wag kang magbago
Dito ka lang
Humimbing
Sa aking piling
Antukin

Kukupkupin nalang kita
Sorry wala ka nang magagawa
Mahalin mo nalang ako
Ng sobra sobra
Para patas naman tayo
Diba?

Chorus:
Sasalubungin natin ang kinabukasan
Ng walang takot at walang pangamba
Tadhana'y merong trip na makapangyarihan
Kung ayaw may dahilan
Kung gusto palaging merong paraan

Pinaiyak ka ng manghuhula
Hindi na raw tayo magkasamang tatanda
Buti nalang
Merong langit na nagtatanggol sa
Pag ibig na pursigido't matyaga

Bridge:
Long as we stand as one
Ano man ang ating makabangga
Nothing will ever break us
Wala talaga
As in wala

Coda:
Hahalikan nalang natin ang kinabukasan
Ng buong loob at yayakapin pa
Tadhana'y medyo overrated kung minsan
Kung ayaw may dahilan
Kung gusto palaging merong paraan

Gumawa nalang tayo ng paraan
Gumawa nalang tayo ng...
Baby, gumawa nalang tayo ng paraan

Antukin by Rico Blanco

-CAT-

NOTE : see the bolded part? the chorus? well, that's my favorite part of the song. tama talaga siya pre. Come what may. Jesus take the wheel. :))

nonsense much?

2009-04-20T19:08:00.002+08:00

Where: eto, sa kwarto ko, nakaharap nanaman sa laptop. Haha

When: 9:43 ng gabi.

Who: ako lang e. haha

Why: post-making mood. Woo. (as always). Pero taglish na muna ulit ha.

What:

Ganda ng araw ko pre! Pero, I hate to admit it, may mga sablay din itong araw na ‘to. Ganito nalang, ikwekwento ko ang mga good things and bad things that happened today. Ayos ba? O, ano man? Where do I start? Good things or bad things? Let’s choose the alphabetical order nalang. So that makes the bad things first. Here it goes:

BAD THINGS ----

1. Late ako nakagising pre! Supposedly, dapat before 7am gising na ako kasi magsisimba pa ako (8am). Pero pre, ayun, 7:48am ako nakagising. Too late. OMG. So napagpasya ko na mamayang hapon (4:30pm) nalang ako magsisimba.

2. Away kami ng away ni spiderpig ngayong araw pre. Ewan ko ba. Bat ganito na? Naku naman. Hmpf. Away bati away bati ang drama. Hahai.

Only 2 bad things. Yeeeey! J

GOOD THINGS ---

1. I finally had the courage to ask my papa’s permission about going to Lake Agco with my barkada. Pati narin yung plano na siya ang hahatid at susundo sa amin doon. So, deep breath and ayun. Nagpaalam na ako. Okay na, going steady.. Explain-explain ako. “kasi naman Pa, ganito, ganyan, ganun, blah blah blah, babayaran ka naman din namin Pa e, mga P1,500 – P2,000. Okay na? approve?”. Nung una-una, nakataas pa ang kilay ni Papa, yung para bang may question mark sa utak nya. Haha! Pero nung namention ko na ang tungkol sa pera, ngumiti na siya. Parang nabasa ko yung utak nya, Ayos yan tol. 2k, malaki na yan. Pangsabong mo tol. Go for it. Laki talaga ng ngiti ni Papa, abot tenga. Haha! Nagtitigan pa kami, tapos tawa ako. Tawa tawa tawa. Tumawa rin siya. Sabi nya, “tawa ka man? Alam mo kung ano iniisip ko noh?”, napatawa ako ng bonggang bongga! Ayos ka lage Pa? Galing! Mag-ama talaga tayo. Apiir! Sabi ko naman, “o naman. So, deal Pa? Salamat! Yeeey!”. (nagpasalamat na agad pre. Haha! LOL) Ayos. Agco, here we come!

2. Eventhough away-bati ang drama naming ni spiderpig ngayong araw, sa huli naman e okay kami. Bati na talaga. Yeey! *smiles* Miss ko na siya. Grabe. Gusto ko siyang bigyan ng POWER hug! LOL.

3. After naming magsimba nila Lolo, nagtaka nalang ako kasi lumabas siya, ewan ko ba kung asan yun pupunta. Pero, Sunday ngayon e, baka magpapa-ice-cream nanaman sila Lolo. Nice. :)) Nagnenet ako nun, tapos tinawag ako ni Papa, sabihan ko raw si Lola na dun kami kakain sa bahay nila. Tinanong ko siya, “bat man Pa? Anong meron?”, “magpapa-ice-cream sila e.” sagot ni Papa. Ayiii! Galing mo talaga lyz! Psychic ka na ngayon ha? LOL. Anyway, ice cream nanaman. Yehay. Woo.

4. Nakita ko naman si Carl! Yung sa Going Bulilit gud. Yung anak ni Lito Camo. Yung super tabaaa! Super Cuuuute! Waaa. Grabe gud tawa ko kanina. He’s so cute kasi. Makes me wanna hug him! Waaaaaaa.

O, ayan. The good and bad things of my day pre. Nothing much ayt? Mababaw ang kasiyahan ko e, pasensya na. haha! anyhow, ganyan talaga. Krisis ngayon e. (teka, anong konek? Haha. Bahala na. kapagod mag-erase. LOL) O siya siya, matutulog na ako. I have to go to work pa bukas. Woo.

Nytie nyt pre! :))

NOTE : this was supposed to be posted last night (Sunday, April 19, 2009). sorry for the inconvenience pre. :))

my heart ..

2009-04-19T14:18:00.000+08:00

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (It beats, beats for only you)
My heart is yours (My heart is yours)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours
(Please don't go, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is...

My heart - Paramore

-CAT-

kalokohan alert :))

2009-04-19T13:27:00.000+08:00

Lagi nalang umuulan, parang walang katapusan..

Yea, you heard that right. It’s raining. Again! What kind of summer is this?! Cold nights? Woo. Summer huh. Tell me about it.

Anyway, I changed the header of my blogskin. Its conspiracy, meaning a scheme or a plan. I so love the lyrics and the song’s by Paramore. And yes, I’m a Paramore fan too. :) (btw, my title “when it rains” is one of their songs too.)

Later, I’ll be going to Richard’s party. But I’ll have to wait until the rain stops though. Urrggh. Wish it’d stop asap. I’m getting bored here, and my mama keeps on giving me things to do; get this, get that, do this, do that. It's driving me craaazy!

after 20mins...

yeeeey! rain has finally stopped! weee. party, here ii come! :))

*******************

just came home from richard's place. whoooa! i had so much fun. at first, aku pala ang dumating sa aming magbabarkada, so andun aku, nakaupo lang; nakatunganga. Btw, hindi pa ako kumain agad e, hinintay ku pa yung iba para sabay-sabay kami.

dumating na sila, after 30mins kong pagtunganga doon. waaa! kainan na! haha. ginutom gud ako sa paghihintay sa kanila. sarap ng baked mac! haha.

so, doon kami kumain sa may waiting shed nila, tabi ng bahay nila chard, tas tabi narin ng soon-to-be tambayan namin. una-una, sobrang concentrate kami sa pagkain, pero after 5mins, ayun sobrang ingay na namin. grabe! haha. puno nanaman ng tawanan ang ere. (i missed this.)

after ng kainan, super chikahan nanaman. si maine ang nagsimula, about sa lovelife eto ha, sa mga uyab NILA. (oo, uyab NILA. that excludes me, wala akong uyab e. ako lang ang walang uyab doon. OP. waaaaa.) so ayun, kinig-kinig lang din ako ah, share-share na sila about sa mga uyab nila, mga away-away etc. pero si benj, super inlabb na daw. naku naku. (siya kasi, NBSB. first ever BF nya si patrick. Btw, si pat ay bestfriend-turned-boyfriend nya. nice nuh? waaaw. ako naman? wala man akong mashare sa kanila, they know about spiderpig naman e, pero wala talaga akong maishare. hihi. pero nagtanung-tanung sila sa akin, interbyu kumbaga. ganito yun:

sila: so, musta na kayo? kayo na ba?

ako: sana. :)) (sabay *sigh*)

sila: sagutin mo na kasi lyz.

ako: diba nakwento ko naman sa inyo, ayaw ko na munang maguyab, after graduation na yang ganyan-ganyan. papahintayin ko siya diba? if he waits, good. kung hindi, come what may. tsaka, hindi siya nanliligaw. kayo talaga. haha!

sila: dami mong alam lyz. pero, ikaw gud. support lang kami sayo. go! :))

ako: (napasmile) salamat e. korni nyo! haha.

ganyan yun. haha! naku naku naku. after nyan, super chikahan ulit. tawa tawa tawa. todo laughtrip!

confession: i drank a little. A LITTLE ha. konti lang talaga. di pa yun nakaabot ng isang baso e. woo. pakisama narin kasi yun sa barkada. tsaka, nun lang aku uminom ulit. as in. tapos, medyo badtrip din ako kay spiderpig kagabi, pinapaselos nya ako e. ayun. hmp. pero kaenjoy din gud, tinatawanan nila ako kay namumutla raw. tas hindi talaga ako yung tipo ng babae na uminom. kagabi lang talaga ako uminom. swear!

ansaya-saya! haha. supeer! baliw man gud yung mga kasama ko. basta ui, lage nila akong tinatawanan. ewan ko ba. haha. nagiging baliw narin ako dahil sa sakanila, (nahawa. LOL).

may time pa na grabe yung pagtawa ko, as in. si jonarel ata ang nagsimula nun, hawak-hawak ko pa yung baso nun. super. napaluhod gud ako sa kakatawa. haha! (not to mention na tungkol pa sa akin yung joke nya nun. nakalimutan ko lang kasi. haha)

*vibrate* hala. ayan na. nagtext si mama.. "lys, uwi na! gabi na!" 8:21pm pa nun. di ko na muna sya nireplyan. 10mins nalang gud sabi ng utak ko. mga 8:50pm, nagtext nanaman si mama.. "uwi na! galit na si papa!".. nagreply na ako, "opo, hanap lang ng masakyan."

so ayun, hinatid ako ni richard hanggang sa high way. OMG! deserted na. wala talagang masakyan. as in! tinextsan ko si maria, may dala siyang motor. wala daw siyang gasolina. no choice, pinagasolinahan namin, pera ko ang gamit. waaa. hinatid na nya ako. wala talagang katao-tao sa kabacan. mingaw na jud. haha! 9pm, nakauwi na ako. walang yawyaw. yeeey! :))

enjoy xadu. salamat chard! :))

fences :))

2009-04-18T13:33:00.000+08:00

FENCES
by Paramore

I'm sitting in a room made up of only big white walls
And in the hall, there are people looking through
The window in the door
They know exactly what we're here for

Don't look up, just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be

You're always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from
Don't you know by now? You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh, open wide, 'cause this is your night
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style
You'll go out in style

If you let me, I could
I'd show you how to build your fences
Set restrictions, separate from the world
The constant battle that you hate to fight
Just blame the limelight

Don't look up, just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be
And now you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh, open wide, 'cause this is your night
So smile

Yeah, yeah, you're asking for it
With every breath that you breathe in
Just breathe it in

Yeah, yeah, well, you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it
I said, let's see you walk it

Yeah, yeah, well, you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it
I said, let's see you walk it

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh, open wide, yeah, oh, oh, open wide
Yeah, oh, oh, open wide, 'cause you'll go out in style
You'll go out in style

-CAT-

taglish pre :))

2009-04-18T07:06:00.001+08:00

Where: infront of the laptop. Obviously. LOL

When: just now. A minute ago.

Why: coz I’m on the blog mood. pero sensya ha, taglish na muna. :))

Who: me, myself and ii. And some other people.

What:

Hey there. Have you noticed something? Haha. Yea, I changed my layout. Acknowledgement: Thanks to Ate Kristine Salgados for helping me, to Spiderpig for inspiring me and of course God for letting me exist ‘till this moment. Whew! Kapagud pala magchange ng layout nuh? Lots of editing to do and etc etc. (sorry, first time e, ignorante pa. LOL)

Anyway, I’m satisfied with my current blogskin na, ket sabi pa ni kuya styllix na di masyadong mapansin yung navigation. Bahala na. Kapagod kaya mag-edit. Whew. Tsaka daw, yung music, tanggalin ko raw. Waw naman, kaya ko nga pinili yang blogskin na yan kasi may music e. Duh. Hahaha!

Ui, lam mo ba? Nakita ko siya kahapon, the guy I was referring to dun sa random thoughts. OMG. pinansin nya ako. I didn’t espect that though, as in! All he did was, say “pssst.”, then lingon ako sa kanya, nagwave siya, sabay smile. Asus! Naku. E ako? Nod lang. Haha! Sino ngay siya para bigyan ko ng smile diba? Bwahahaha. Btw, nagadrive ako ng motor that time. Whew!

Lots of things happened today. Naku naku. Pero yung mga importante lang ang ipopost ko ha. Eto yun:

1. Due to tardiness, late nanaman ako nakagising kanina. Mga 7:40am ata yun. At paggising ko, inutusan agad ako ni mama na maglinis ng buong bahay. BUONG bahay yan ha. Btw, may summerjob ako now, ganahan n asana ako magpunta sa tindahan pero ayun, pinalinis man ang bahay sa akin. In the end, tinamad na akong magwork. Ahai. Sayang yung P100.00 na sweldo.

2. Pagkahapon, nag-ayos kami ng tambayan kina Richard. Ako, si Kulot, si Jonarel, si Benj, si Patrick, si Donita (nagvisit lang siya dun, umalis din agad.), at si Richard (always present yan e, tabi lang garud ng bahay nila ang tambayan. Ahaha!). Woo. So far, marami na rin kaming nagawa, may bakod na, tapos nalinisan na namin ang lote. Andami naming plano para sa tambayan, may garden2 pa nga raw eh, may kubo2 pa, tapos lagyan pa raw namin ng swimming pool (who am I kidding? Haha. Joke lang ui, di naming yan maafford. Haha! Perceptibly.) Mga quarter to 5pm, umuwi na ako. Umulan kasi e. Ayun. (yan ang hate ko ditto sa Mindanao, summer na summer, cgeg ulan. Naku!) Oh nga pala, ininvite kami ni Richard sa belated birthday party niya bukas. Woo! Kainan nanaman. Go talaga ako jan. haha!

3. Kanina, after dinner, habang super concentrate ako sa pag edit ng codes, si mama, inutusan kami ng kapatid ko na hanapin daw yung installer CD ng web cam. Naku! Malay ba naming kung saan yun nakalagay? E siya ang humahawak nun e, di ko pa nga yun nakita. Ayun, cge siya yawyaw. Pero duh, atleast kami, gumagalaw, naghahanap talaga kami ng kapatid ko, e siya, andun nakaupo sa couch, at nakatutok sa tebe. Typical. Naku. After ilang beses kong pag ikot sa buong bahay, wala parin. Pero alas! Tumayo narin si mama, pumunta sa kwarto nila, at pagbalik niya sa sala, hawak2 na ang CD. Sabi ko nga, ikaw lang nakakaalam kung san yan. Naku. Mama talaga.

4. Last but not least… (oh baka least na nga. Haha!) Matutulog na ako. Pinagalitan na ako ni spiderpig e, bawal daw magpuyat2. (oo, kinukwento ko eto dahil importante rin eto. Haha!)

Btw, first post ko eto na TagLish nuh? Waw. Well, I supposed, mostly tagalon lang talaga ito. Hihi. I had fun though. Kaenjoy. Haha! ‘till next time.

introducing ...

2009-04-16T16:41:00.001+08:00

Tic toc tic toc. I hear the ticking of my watch that’s drawn next to my little tiny ears (spiderpig told me that I have cute and petite ears. *reminiscing*). Tic toc tic toc. Time runs fast though. The last thing I know was I was just walking down one of the not so busy streets of Kabacan, and now, I’m here; lying on my bed, trying to sleep. *closing my eyes* But a teardrop comes out of my chinky-eyes, and then slowly runs down my chubby cheeks. I open my eyes, however another tear rolls down, then another, and another, and another. Hopeless. I’m crying, again! *sniffles*I wanna go to dreamland, where there are no worries, no stress, no tears, no nothing, but only happiness. Oh, I can’t slumber. (Insomnia? You’re kiddin’ me! Not again! I’m sick and tired of insomnia! Hate iiit!) But this time, it isn’t insomnia, I think. It’s more like my heart and brain are having a debate. Yup, a debate, exactly. Weird huh? Tell me about it. They’re so silly. Here’s their debate:

Brain: “Look, tears, she’s crying again. All because of you!”

Heart: “Duh? Me? Shut up! Will you just let her sleep?! Dumb brain!”

Brain: “And will you just let her make the right decisions?! Damn heart!”

Heart: “I am! You’re the one who’s making her baffle!”

Brain: “Well, duh, you keep bugging me every time I try to tell her what to do! You only want her to have happiness, but how about the righteousness?! You’re so full of yourself! Do what’s best for her! Not for yourself! Selfish heart!”

Heart: “Selfish huh? Me? Don’t think so. Take a look at yourself brain! You’re the one who’s making her all mixed up! Let her have her happiness, okay?! She deserves it! She’s already been through many things, you know that. Let her make her own mistakes. Let her be her. Will you? Please?!”

Brain: “How’d you know?! You don’t even know what’s in her brain! And, I’m her brain! You don’t know anything! You don’t have a brain! Moron!”

Heart: “And how’d you know what it feels?! You don’t have a heart! Dimwit!”

Brain: “Get a life! Shut up! If she only agreed with me, she wouldn’t be crying! If she didn’t expect, she wouldn’t be crying now!

Heart: “Let her cry, okay? That’ll only last for minutes. But happiness will last much longer, a lifetime. So let her be.”

Brain: “You have a point now. But if she cries again, you’ll be sorry!”

Heart: I hope spiderpig won’t make her cry again…

I hope so too. *sigh* Anyway, Heart wins this round. The next round? I dunnow, Brain says that Heart will be sorry. (ano ako? Referee? LOL)

Anyhow, I learned a lot from their debate. (I’m not crying anymore.) Spiderpig and I are okay now. *cheers* *smiles* And finally, I’ll be able to snooze into dreamland. zZzZzZz

P.S Looking at the brightside, at least Liver, Lungs, and Kidney didn’t join their debate. That’ll be ridiculous. But fun. Lots of fun. LOL.

P.S2 And oh, if you’re wondering who’s “spiderpig”.. Well, I can’t tell you. So keep wondering. LOL :))

so much to do, so little time..

2009-04-15T19:04:00.000+08:00

Things I want to do before getting married or having kids (whatever) :

1. Bungee Jumping! (and scream ‘till my lungs drop out! woo)

2. Scuba Diving! (Under water adventure!)

3. Mountain Climbing! (i want to climb mt. apo! Weee)

4. Hot Air Balloon Riding! (I’m not scared of heights. Nakakalula lang kasi minsan. I get dizzy. Haha)

5. Zip Riding! (yiiiiaaaah! Especially the one in Digos City.)

6. Ride the best roller coaster rides ever made in the whole world! (kinda ambisyosa, ayt? Libre lang bitaw mangarap. LOL)

7. Take a walk at the top of the Sydney Harbor Bridge! (that’s possible. I’ve seen it. Waa!)

8. Go to the best theme parks worldwide! (Gotta save money for that. Lots and lots of money. Whoooa. Help me. LOL)

9. Try motocross! (try lang gud. Haha!)

10. Hug a tiger! (I’m serious!)

11. Ride on a dolphin! (I’ve seen them, and they’re incredibly cute!)

12. Go surfing! (yeeeeeep! its soooo cool!)

13. Snowboarding! (if only there’s snow in the Philippines *sigh*)

14. Build a snowman! ( snow snow snow ! I demand snow in the Philippines! Now na! LOL)

15. Swim at the middle of the ocean! (pero I’ve gotta have a companion, you know, incase i drown unexpectedly. I’m not a good swimmer. haha)

16. Jump off a cliff! (Then dive right into an ocean or lake. Ouch!)

17. Go on a ghost hunt! (comrades? A must! Wooo)

18. Ride on one of those thingamajigs that are called “Big Drop”! (you know, the ride that takes you 100ft above the ground then suddenly drops you so fast. I wanna try that! Haha!)

19. Ice skating! (and I’ll do some of those twirly twirl jumps, even if it means falling down and embarrassing myself. So desperate huh? Toynk)

20. Go horseback riding! (along the sea shore would be so nice!)

21. Cut my wrist! (an option )

So much to do, so little time…

random thoughts

2009-04-14T18:55:00.000+08:00

-> Have you ever felt like you have nothing else to do but understand? Yeah, understand till death. I dunnow why I’m like this; you do bad things to me, but a little sorry will soften my heart, and I’ll forgive you as soon as possible. Uh-uh. A slight sign of sweetness, and I won’t be mad no more. Hopeless. Then other people abuse this so called attitude of mine. They’ll hurt me again and again and again, but I’ll forgive as soon as they apologize, and when I forgive them, they’ll hurt me again. It’s a cycle. A never ending cycle. Of my life. So typical. How come? Don’t ask me, coz I dunnow either. That’s just me, I guess. And how my life goes.

-> Another thing is, I’m a martyr. Making sacrifices? My kind of hobby. Dunnow how. Dunnow why. If you ask me, I’ll just roll my eyes on you, so don’t ask. Slap me? Go for it. I don’t mind. I’ve been wanting to be slapped all my life. So, go on. Go! *tuuuugsh* (thanks.)

-> I haven’t seen him for a long time, haven’t heard anything about him too. No communication; no texts, no email, no chat, no nothing. I wonder how he is now. What does he look like now? What is he now? You know, I mean, is he still the guy I met before or have he changed? Do you get my point? Hmm. Memories? The only thing that’s left for us. Karma will eventually get him. Bwahahaha!

->(Looking at the night sky.) Oh, it’s a full moon again. So bright. *sigh* I feel tranquility when I gaze at it. You know, one of my dream dates would be just staring at the night sky, waiting for a falling star to wish upon, and just talk, talk and talk. Romantic huh? Like that’ll happen. Duh. In my dreams, maybe! *sigh* again (wait, I’ll be daydreaming for awhile.)

*daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaydreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam*

cut

2009-04-14T18:52:00.002+08:00

Most of the girls are anorexic. They’re called guests with food issues. Some are druggies. They’re called guests with substance abuse issues. The rest like me, are assorted psychos. We’re called guests with behavioral issues. The nurses are called attendants. And the place is a residential treatment facility. It is not called a loony bin. - CUT by Patricia McCormick

I’ve just finished reading that book. I bought it at a book sale in Gensan, it was only P55.00, a bargain. The book caught my attention first. Why? First of all, the book cover was nice, at first glance; you’ll guess what the book is about. (see the cover? agree with me?)

Cut is about girl named Callie, she’s in a rehab place, I think. It’s called “Sea Pines”. As have read above, she describes the place as that, and in what I’ve observed while reading this book, well, I agree with her.

I don’t really get it. Why are there people with anorexia? Why are they so pissed about their weight? How do they stop themselves from eating? Why do they starve themselves to death? So many questions I can’t answer. *sigh*

The druggies? No doubt about that. As expected, there will always be teenagers like that; addicted to drugs that make them feel better for only a while, then make them suffer for a lifetime. *sigh* again

About Callie, she’s a psycho; obsessed with cutting her wrist. I don’t get her either. Why cut your wrist? Can’t you stop it? *puzzled* At first, Callie gives everyone her “silent treatment”, you know, not talking to anyone, anywhere, anytime. (that’s hard, well, for me I guess. LOL) But she eventually garnered enough strength to open her mouth and talk to people.

When she talks to this, I dunnow, attendant I think, all she utters about is her brother, (Her brother is sick; he has asthma, a serious case of asthma. Poor little boy. Hmp) about her being the reason why her brother gets sick often, why her mother is always tired, why her dad has to work overtime to earn more money for them. *sigh*

I dunnow how old Callie is exactly, it doesn’t tell in the book. All I know is she’s below 18, and a teenager. But why is her life like that? I’m still confused on why she keeps cutting her wrist.

In Sea Pines, knives, blades, and anything that’s sharp is strictly prohibited. But Callie has already cut her wrist in there twice (according to the book). She’d utilize anything and make it a weapon to cut herself. She used an aluminum plate once. Talk about desperate. Boy oh boy. Reckless huh? I feel sorry for her though. *sniffles*

Callie also ran away from Sea Pines, I dunnow why exactly but I think she missed her family a lot. She called her dad, and her dad went out to get her. They were about to go home but Callie decided to go back to Sea Pines. She decided that she wants to get better; to overcome her addiction; to become a healthier person.

I wonder, what it feels like, I mean, cutting your own wrist. Of course, it hurts ayt? But, from the book, I examined that after cutting her wrist, Callie felt awesome; satisfied; like she was alive once more. How is that? You’re in between dying, and you feel awesome? Weird. I don’t get it. Really.

It makes me wanna try and cut myself too. (seriously, it does) I want to know how it feels too; if it really does feel awesome. And so I won’t be perplexed anymore. I wonder what’ll happen to me if I attempt to cut my wrist. Will I also be put in a rehab just like Sea Pines? I wonder…

summer :))

2009-04-14T18:52:00.001+08:00

I’ve just finished reading Every Girl’s Guide to Flings. Wew! Finally, I’ve read all the Every Girl’s Guide series; Heartache, Boys and, Flings. Whoa! I hope that Marla Miniano, the author, will make more series. It’s really helpful you know, it’s a must for every girl to read it nowadays. Agree? :))
The 3 books are about 3 girls (they’re best friends), Anna (featured in “heartache”), Chrissy (highlighted in “boys”), and Rickie (starred in “flings”). And of course, it’s all about their love life. Obviously. Haha! LOL.
But, I liked “flings” the best, not because I can relate to it (I really can’t, swear! I never liked having flings, and I’ll never will. Anyway, I’ve never tried it. And never will. That’s certain.). I liked it because it really had lessons in it. Not only about love, but also about family and friendship. So deep. Whoa!

************************

Talk about being a bookworm huh? LOL.
I have already finished reading 4 books in just 2 days. *yey!* *cheers* LOL
I have 2 more books to read. Waaa! And I’ll be going to Davao next week to buy more books. *smiles*
But, first thing first, I’ve got to earn money, FAST! Good thing I’ve got a summer job. Guess what? It’s at my grandparent’s newsstand. Again. LOL. It’s like that every year. I had no other choice anyway, so why not? It’s fun naman and I love spending time with my grandparents. :))

*************************

Waaa! My freaktion barkada, including Cecil (but we call her Maria, she’s a new member.) is building our new tambayan near Richard’s house. Yey! It’s soo exciting. It’ll be finished by June, maybe just before the classes start. We have lots of cleaning and constructing to do. Wish us luck.
I’ll post pictures of it when it’s done. :))

horoscope

2009-04-14T18:51:00.001+08:00

“Someone’s inspired! You’ve crossed paths once more with a person who means a lot to you and it’s making you aspire to be better yourself. Keep the happy vibe, and make sure that person knows just how you feel.”

- Libra’s horoscope for this month, according to the Meg Mag.

A fact? It might be.

Well, well, well, who could possibly be that “someone” who’s inspired? Think lyz, think. *bliiing!* Got it! I guess, it may perhaps be him. LOL.

I was quite shocked when I read that horoscope; I didn’t really expect that something like that would come up. Unexpected things do happen, ayt? I wonder if that’ll come true. *hmm?* It’s always nice to know that somebody is inspired because of you. Waaw. :) *smiles*

A person who means a lot to me? That might as well be GOD, and my family. (Logical answer. LOL) :))

Keep the happy vibe? Oh, with my life as it is nowadays? I definitely will. Don’t worry. :))

Make sure that person knows just how I feel? Great, just great! Who’s that person anyway? Haha! Pakilala muna siya ah. LOL. Just kiddin’. God knows exactly how I feel anyway. :))

P.S : This bothers me, you know? I wanna know who that person is! Waaa. If it’s true, (Oh God, I really wish it’s true. Wooo.), then, I hope na magpakilala yang taong yan. Haha! :))

perplexed

2009-04-13T12:56:00.000+08:00

baffled. bewildered. PERPLEXED.

oh oh. i need your help guys.

what does "i care for you" stand for?

i mean, what does it really mean? really really mean?

that sentence/phrase/whatever is making me confused and is driving me craaazy! insaanely craaazy!

waaa. ii need your responds so badly. heeeelp! comment comment comment! :))

i can wait forever

2009-04-12T13:42:00.000+08:00

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter
But you feel so far away
And I can't lie
But everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait forever...

You look so beautiful today
It's like everytime I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man, I wish that I could stay
And I can't lie, but everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever...

I know it feels like forever
I guess thats just a price I've gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better
'Til that day there's nothing else I can do

And I just can take it
(Just can't take it)
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever
When you come my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait.. I can wait forever...

I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever...

by Simple Plan


-CAT-